Woes of A Toddler Mommy

9 Nov

So, Kaeden has been going through the Hitting/Kicking/Biting stage for a little while. In the beginning we would tell him it isn’t nice..yadda yadda yadda. But it doesn’t work anymore. He hits and bites because he is excited and happy…or sad and angry. He kicks when he is frustrated, or just because you are in his way. So, the nice words about it being something he shouldn’t do, just aren’t working anymore. Time out, well he just doesn’t seem to care. And we really don’t want to spank him for hitting etc.

I think I have decided to try some redirection with it. When he is happy or excited, Clap instead of Biting or Hitting. When you are frustrated or angry, growl-or something. Honestly, I haven’t gotten past the clapping part. I am so discouraged with the hitting and biting that I don’t know what to do. 

Don’t get me wrong, I think that a spanking has it’s place and time. But not now, and not for hitting & biting.  I know that our friend, that saw Kaeden hit Neil in the face today to get his attention, was thinking “I would give that boy a spanking and put him in time out, what are they doing?” but for Kaeden, he would see it as us hitting him to punish him for hitting…he’s hard headed. He doesn’t get “hitting is bad” out of a spanking.

So, I dont know how many people are reading…maybe none…but if you have any ideas, or have gone through the same thing, PLEASE share. Thanks!

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4 Responses to “Woes of A Toddler Mommy”

  1. Shana November 10, 2008 at 21:44 #

    You’re plan sounds good to me. I find singing really loudly when Connor throws a tantrum to be a good distraction for him. He hasn’t hit the biting stage yet, so I hope your clapping thing works, then I can use it! Good luck, I’m rooting for you.

  2. zico01 November 26, 2008 at 21:44 #

    My daughter is 18 months, and the terrible two’s have started……
    If my daughter Darcy has a tantrum, we “try” and get her to listen and say loudly “no” , we say that mummy and daddy love her very much, but we can’t have her behaving like that.
    Sometimes it works, sometimes it does not, trying to just keep a level head, and letting them cry the tantrum off works, but when it is in public, you have to be strong, and try to stay unfazed !!
    All the best

  3. Darby December 2, 2008 at 21:44 #

    I feel your pain Lesa…Jack went through that stage for a long time. He has pretty much finished it all, however when excited he will still bite occasionally. He will still hit me sometimes when he doesn’t want to do something. I feel like I have tried everything and nothing really seemed to work all the time. Pretty much now at his age, a time out will work, but when he was younger, about Kaeden’s age, when he hit, I would have him do a time out with his hands on a chart that I made and put on the wall (trace his hands on a piece of paper and label it “kind hands” and tape it to the wall at his height for his hands to fit comfortably on it when standing up against the wall.) This actually really helped with the hitting. He then had to apologize and give “soft touches” The biting thing just eventually went away. He actually bit a child one time, but he would bite me much more. So all this to say, what ever you try, be consistent and then try something else. It worked eventually and as he gets older, it hopefully will fade out…Blessings.

    Darby

  4. Amy December 31, 2008 at 21:44 #

    I totally know what you are going through, the little girl that I nanny for was a biter, she would bite happy, or angry. After many a time outs and never getting anywhere with it I took my mom’s advice and bit her back. She cried and said that it hurt, and I told her that she was hurting her sister when she did that to her sister. She never bit again, at least when I was around. Hope Kaeden is getting past the stage, but its just the age and stage they don’t quite have the words to express their feelings and their teeth do all the work. Good luck!

    Amy

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